so far

I am so sorry that my last post was so negative. For some reason, I have been pretty down, and I can't figure why. I have a really great life, full of amazing friends and family, and I have a job that I love, most of the time.

So this year has proven to be a balancing act, yet again. Second year teaching is a bit better than year one, but I still have a lot of work to do. I've had those moments where I want to scream, but definitely nothing too bad.

I am trying to be more active, which is a challenge with teaching homebound, I went to the gym last weekend and realize that I needed a new ipod, so ordered an ipod touch on thanksgiving. I get kind of nervous when I spend that kind of money, but I'm hoping it will inspire me to go to the gym more often... we shall see..

Thanksgiving was pretty cool - because Dad couldn't book our usual room for the feast, we moved the fam thanksgiving to saturday. I went to Steve's to hang and chow there, and it was a lot of fun. We rocked, of course.

Thinking about events around Thanksgiving, I've realized how much has changed. I like to think that I appreciate change, but there are some things that I just have a hard time coping with - relationships change, and families even change from time to time. I'm looking for the strength and wisdom to accept these inevitable changes and, if possible, learn from them.

Did you ever wonder ...

...if there are people put on this earth to make your life miserable?

I think there are a few. These people think they have some special secret power and know the depths of everyone's soul. The only questions the seem to ask are, "Why don;t you understand my great power?" When really all I can ask is "What the heck is your problem, you annoying jerk?"

I'm trying very hard to make good decisions in my life. I can't say that I've done a bang-up job. I sometimes make the same mistakes twice. But the second time I make that mistake, it's an affirmation that something is terribly WRONG.

I think i developed this sense that yeah, nobody's perfect, and everyone has their good points (even though I don't always voice this opinion). However, that question that always nagged on me was ... well, if nobody's perfect, then how much BS are you willing to put up with?

I'm still finding those borders. Some people have been ousted, and rightfully so.

Summer-ness

So I got a few more items shuffled into my curriculum, so I feel all structured now. I've had many welcome interruptions (and some unwelcome ones. Jerks.), and I think I will have to work on putting together some kind of schedule. July will be a big work month, and then August will be lots of cleaning and organizing.

The birthday was pretty fun! I got Pretty cleaned and then Steve and I went to fabulous Harrahs. I felt very young and vibrant because I didn't need a cane. Then I had some Cheezers Pizza with the wonderful Kelly, who also gave me my birthday blizzard. No single guy blizzards available, so I went with snickers.

I think I'm going to break a record for most movies I've ever watched in one summer. The crew and I went to Transformers 2. I don't understand Megan Fox's appeal, but whatever. Josh Duhamel, though? Hmm, that I can see ;)

Not much else going on -- I'm trying to enjoy my first summer off, and I think I'm doing an okay job!

playing with a full deck, but no table

Oh my goodness, summer is the paradox of my LIFE. I love the break, but I feel like the most useless member of society right now. I'm not working (but I'm spending a little. There ya go, economy!), although I did look for a part-time job for a little while there.

I did get some summer hours approved, which is great because there's a lot of things that I can do to prepare for September. I sat with one of my books open writing out what the mid-chapters covered. I'm still really concerned about my combined class. It' going to continue to be a challenging class with clearly different levels.

I will do a lot of reading this summer, and hopefully a lot of exercising. I'll read a book for French 3/4 (I have about 20 books to read), and then go do something physical. I have my eye on the state park. Mom and I are going to Wisconsin next month (to Baraboo - I'm pretty stoked about it), and I'll take a little excursion to Devil's Lake. Maybe Brandi will be able to drive up for one of those days and go with me.

Oh, and I've been cooking more than usual. Pros: Realizing that my stove/over do indeed still function, saving a little money. Cons: DISHES. I really wish I had a dishwasher, Sometimes, I don't make such amazing food.

The June Bug - Entry 1

Identity


Pretty lady-
How did you get into this debacle?
Did you wake up thirsty?
Were you in need of a song?
I imagine you
in a stupor.
staring blankly
at the slew of slung clothing,
you sitting in shame on your sleeper sofa.
Are you a smoker?
Do you leave that lipstick smudged on your Virginia Slims?
After your show,
you sit at the bar,
blow billowing smoke
from another cig,
whose flaccid ash
dares anyone
to come near its mother.

I sing. I survive.

Pretend this says April.

So a few things have changed and moved forward since my last post. I'm not longer seeing the guy who I thought was being respectful because he did this amazing disappearing act. But that's not a big deal, lots of fish in the ocean, etc.

I have one month left of work for this school year. Well, kinda. I'm hoping to do some summer hours because I have a huge amount of adjustments to make for next year. I'm working on my finals for this semester. I didn't think I'd have any seniors in my advanced class taking the final (the exemption rule makes it really easy for seniors to get out of finals), but because some people decided to slack off, I have no choice.

I think I'm going to try to make a trip to Baraboo this summer -- Devil's Lake is right there, and I just love that hike (the easy one, that is!). I didn't get the time to take a trip over spring break -- i had 4 hours of homebound teaching scheduled.

As ambitious as all that sounds, this girl has been laaazy. I did nothing today, aside from figure out what that jungle mix thing was and watch Tracie Ullman.

Oh, and I got to see Lydia (that cute, cute little niece of mine!) not too long ago! She is still so, so tiny! She's in daycare now, so she has a cold every other week, I guess. It's crazy how many diapers and wipes and laundry one tiny little person can go through. Oh, and I am having the kid call me Tatie, and I speak French to her when I watch her. Bill tells her spanish words. This kids already a genius. I can tell.

The March update

So, I've been a very bad blogger lately. I'm going to shoot for one post per month, and, if I beat that, I'll treat myself to .. something. This expires during the summer, though, because I'll have enough time to blog everyday then, I'm sure.

Friday was the end of Quarter 3, and I'm a little nervous about next year because I was a total slacker to my classes and talking to them about expectations of their next year in French. I'm hoping numbers go up rather than down. I know I have high expectations for my students and make them work maybe more than they want, but hopefully when we have a conversation next week, they feel good about all the work they've done.

I can't believe the first year of teaching is almost over. I'm still a stress bucket during the week, but not as much as the first month of the academic year. I'm still trying new things, but I'm not staying at the school until 6:30 anymore, and I think that's a good thing. I was asked back to teach next year, so that's a good thought. I'm not sure when I need to sign the contract or whatever, but I'll stick around. I'm having fun creating curriculum, and I've got a lot of help.

As for life in general, things are going pretty well. I've been seeing the same guy for a few months now, and he's a very respectful and fun person to be around. I have a super cute niece. I still miss a lot of my friends from everywhere, but thanks to the internet, I can communicate with them that way.

My one minor complaint is that I'm getting really restless. I'm working on slashing my debt , but I really need a trip for spring break. Dad's coming to visit because I have a few repair issues, but I would love to take a trip to Vegas or New York or New Orleans... I'm not sure if I'll be able to afford it, though, if I'm going to get my finances in order.

Oh, and speaking of finances, I got an additional $94 from the state of IL! I got a notice on Friday and freaked out because I wasn't sure if it was what I owed or what I was going to be refunded, but then I looked at my bank account and saw the 94 Simoleons! There ya go, National City credit card!

Stuff lately!

Wow, it has been *forever* since I posted! I hope all my long-distance blogger buddies are having a good mini-month of February.

Let's see, work is pretty good. Mardi Gras is coming up, and I don't have anything spectacular planned. I found an ESL website with a few games and short notes, but I'm not doing any King Cakes and I'm not selling beads for French Club this year. I'll be able to swing something next year, probably, but not my first year. There's a fantastic glodetrekker DVD about New Orleans, and my upper levels will be watching that, and my lower levels will be doing a little cultural stuff combined with daily continued work. It'll be better next year.

I'm giong to start saving up for a newer (NOT new) car soon, but its tough with all the bills and financial goals I'm trying to set. The money makeover thing via Dave Ramsey's book has some words of wisdom, but he fails to mention what to do when you have the emergency fund done but need a better car. I'm supposed to be focusing on my debt (shudder), but if my car won't survive.... what's a girl to do?

I don't like talking too much about money, but it's something I'm doing somewhat better with lately. I have a budget that I stick to, for the most part, but I haven't gotten to the point where I have thrown out the credit cards. Sad face.

On a lighter note, I got a little bill from Comcast the other day. This is from my account that I had with Suzy. $.10. Remember what the decimal means. TEN CENTS. I wrote out a check for 10 cents, and then mailed it using a 42 cent stamp. Life is funny.

And for those of you following my love life, hey! I might actually have one! I've been seeing a nice guy from Mokena for a couple months. It's always exciting to meet someone who you can talk to and have good times :)

I'm sure I'll have a better theme next time. I need to get back into the blogging groove!

New Year's Resolutions are for pansies

Nah, not really. I just know that if I call something a resolution ... it'll fail. I work out when I feel the motivation, I've been eating salads ... but nope! no resolutions.

Break was short -- even with an extra day. I set up hours with my lovely homebound students. As much good as I think it did, I will *never* do that again. It broke up my break, and I feel as if I jipped myself of a winter break. Oh, well. Live and learn!

I tried something new today! a pummelo! I picked it up (and bought it -- no stealing!) because it had a little sticker on it... good job, marketing people! I took a few pictures on my phone, but I'm not sure I'll upload them. Google images is quite handy.

I'm watching dietTribe -- learn the difference between fiance and fiancee. Really.